Blended family dating
When parents remarry or move in with a new partner who has children from a pre-existing marriage, a child faces further threats to his sense of stability.Although it can be upsetting to see your child miserable about the relationship which makes you happy, bear in mind that dismissing their feelings is likely to make their insecurities grow, not disappear.Feelings are real - no matter how inappropriate, extreme or frustrating you find the emotional tidal wave you are facing, your child needs to have their feelings accepted and supported.Paraphrase what your child says - “Hmm, it sounds like you’re finding all the changes unsettling” and indicate that what they are feeling is normal - “that’s understandable”.Adolescents, however, would rather separate from the family as they form their own identities.Recent research suggests that younger adolescents (age 10-14) may have the most difficult time adjusting to a stepfamily.
Not surprisingly, the path to a happy household in many blended families is steep with considerable obstacles to navigate on route.
Adolescents are at a developmental stage where they are more sensitive to expressions of affection and sexuality, and may be disturbed by an active romance in their family.
Couples should make priority time for each other, by either making regular dates or taking trips without the children.
If your child is reluctant to talk, try guessing at their underlying emotions with tentative, gentle questions: “I wonder if you’re feeling sad that we don’t get as much time together anymore?
” or “I imagine it must be really tough not having your own room anymore?